How do you explain, when your earliest memories are ones you’ve trained yourself to box and forget.
How do you explain that the things that shaped you are things you don’t want to acknowledge much less give a name to.
The things that mean you will almost always offer to help, regardless of the sacrifice. The things that mean you default to people don’t change. The things that mean you’d walk away when things get too hard because is easier to not have someone as part of your life than just hope they might become decent.