29th December – Thursday (definitely not the 29th)

My Grandfather died when I was 2, this was ages ago. But it means that for Nana the whole of Christmas time is a kind of sad time, a time of memories. 

I don’t remember him, but for as long as I can remember I’ve been told the story about how he was told he wouldn’t make it to Christmas, but he was determined. How I was trained to say merry Christmas Grandad, and how proud he was. 

He died on the 29th, and so all day has been distraction and it has been Thursday all day – the 29th has not been mentioned at all. He has been gone for longer than he was with her, but that level of love and miss is kind of awesome. 


28th December – Mists of time 

It was misty, proper misty the photo doesn’t do it justice. Weather I associate more with the slopes of Adelboden. I miss the Chalet more than ever at this time of year. 

A day spent Nana sitting, its scary seeing how much she’s going down hill. The bit where you are asked the same thing, told the same story 10 times an hour… you get the feeling she knows she’s asking again but isn’t sure, and the same surprise at the answer. 

27th December – Mandrake 

Nana has been sad so we’ve had a day out. 

We went out exploring the sales… St Albans, Hatfield and London Coney. It was interesting, tiring and we bought random stuff. 

A collection of bizarre reduced vegetables collected more by their level of reduction than their logical link to each other…

I still maintain this is a Mandrake!

24th December – Christmas Eve Traditions

As is traditional I was responsible for the collection of Nana. I took her shopping, it would seem that she shares Tkmaxx joy, possibly because things only last an isle before changing. 

But she doesn’t get Lego joy, there is something so beautifully calming about just running your fingers through hundreds of little Lego heads, their sameness, all feeling identical, but in reality slight differences between each.