8th February – What’s more important my spellings or nuclear war?

As a dyslexic who is renowned for appalling spelling it’s a weird reality when you find yourself doing spellings with the secret genius. 
There is something joyful when he comments that “it’s easy. I can just swap the endings.”
And of course his spellings are more important. With nuclear war I’ll be dead so nothing matters then. 

10th January – What if…

I saw my students for the last time before they will get there results. 

I hope they did their best. 

I hope they were successful. 

I’m scared that because I was stressed I wasn’t at my best. I’m scared I let them down. I know I did my best, but is my best good enough? I know I set ridiculous standards for me, but…

I hope they did ok. I hope they were the best that they could be, I want so much to be able to share their joy and be super proud of them. 

29th December – Thursday (definitely not the 29th)

My Grandfather died when I was 2, this was ages ago. But it means that for Nana the whole of Christmas time is a kind of sad time, a time of memories. 

I don’t remember him, but for as long as I can remember I’ve been told the story about how he was told he wouldn’t make it to Christmas, but he was determined. How I was trained to say merry Christmas Grandad, and how proud he was. 

He died on the 29th, and so all day has been distraction and it has been Thursday all day – the 29th has not been mentioned at all. He has been gone for longer than he was with her, but that level of love and miss is kind of awesome. 

27th December – Mandrake 

Nana has been sad so we’ve had a day out. 

We went out exploring the sales… St Albans, Hatfield and London Coney. It was interesting, tiring and we bought random stuff. 

A collection of bizarre reduced vegetables collected more by their level of reduction than their logical link to each other…

I still maintain this is a Mandrake!

15th December – Christmas 

I am lucky to have them, they are an amazing, random, mix of students. Some that I teach, some just needed a hand with mechanics, some needed a safe place to just be. 

And today was Christmas, and even the humbugs managed good Christmas memories, some for the first time. 

I am lucky because this rabble seem to have one mission, to make each other happy and ok. And because they all have this they all have a bunch of people looking out for them. It’s lovely because it reminds you that people can be nice to each other, and that is all too rare.